It's kinda emotional this post please do highlight if u still insist on reading it.
Why do people get lonely?
Why is it so hard to just be yourself?
What did I do to deserve this?
Why must I feel the way I do?
Why can't I just live my life normally?
All these questions do have a certain meaning and it's bugging me ever since. Do you ever get the feeling that you are the only one in the world and there is no one else? Well I do all the time just that I don't really show it at all. Yes, you see me happy all the time joking and having fun but do you see what I do after that? I might be smiling but it hurt like hell when I do so. Can't I just be myself and act normally? After that time I have never been myself, been trying to change who I am all the time, smoking, drinking just running away from my problems. It's not easy facing it and when you do. One problem solved and another one occurs. So why solve it when another nearly similar problem is going to happen again. Yes I deserve this, just because of one girl whom I really like said no to my confession. It all started then, but what the heck I have completely forgotten about her but why the feeling of loneliness is there? Why must I feel it when I don't want to. Normally I would just go out for a walk which relaxes my mind then I would sleep but nowadays it won't work. It's getting so bad that I could actually wonder off from my apartment and ended up somewhere in Cyberjaya in which I have no idea how I got there. I know I am having depression, I have tried to go out have fun and get more friends but it's all not working! Why one silly mistake had to change my life now? All I did was get rejected! That's all but why won't it go away! I don't even have feelings for that girl now so why that lonely feeling is there? I sit in my room staring at the comp not knowing what to do. I don't have the mood to study when my exams are near, I don't feel like playing games, I just don't know what to do!
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Monday, July 13, 2009
Daicon Over!!! 9:14 AM
So tired through out the whole day both days I meant, for the first day had to wake up at 7 then be at the event to set things up by 8 but the fact that i slept at 5 was just crazy only 2 hours of sleep then off away to the event. Luckily didn't die during the event, board and card game division was awesome hehehe all done so fast and just enjoy playing games. But all gamers know that playing games are stressful...like totally examples like brain damage by retards, excessive thinking, manipulating people like a puppeteer its alot of hard work to do those thing. Meet an old ro mate during the event selling ro emoticons then when bought 1, jeff asked me to buy for him also, then again and again and again and again!!! I was at their booth like nearly forever just buying emoticons then playing with it with boardgames lol
Mentioning about meeting an old ro mate, did meet with farid, phoebe, and guys from malacca campus too so it was fun but brief...totally bz running around to do stuff for jeff so if wan scold me then scold jeff lol. The Chihara Minori concert was awesome but the side that we are on were so passive!!! Like you are in a concert go wild already and they just sit there in their seat not doing anthing....sad. Was laughing at how pauline really didn't want anyone that didn't paid for the tickets see the q & a session and concert which the 6feet or 7 think high partitions blocking the people's view then closing the top sections of the hall only thing regretted during event is not taking pictures at all!!! not happy...zzz
The one thing that pissed me off is GACC man, they start rallying during the event saying "Go to GACC" like WTF, one thing is that i didn't believe that an old friend would actually betray us. Ahhh getting pissed remembering that but nvm we are civilised people so i won't do anything like them. Another thing pissed me off during the event is the Emina president like WTH and i was too blur to shout at the STFU and do it yourself. In the first day, he was passing our board game section and all saying "Why are commitees playing games" that alone got me mad but didn't do anything about it. Then there was the second incident with him, we just finished lunch and went back and right there he stopped us and ask which division are we in, told him it was boardgames and he asked what do we do,obviously play boardgames and he cont on saying you dont have to do that come and help security. I should have said Fuck You and get your own security members we are not under you. We are boardgame members so we play games for god's sake, we are not really under daicon, just colabarating with them which is GDC not EMINA!!! Plus it was a friend who asked us to do it so we just help so just shut up and go do it yourself and if you are not happy just tell us we are more than willing to pull punches than talking.
Mentioning about meeting an old ro mate, did meet with farid, phoebe, and guys from malacca campus too so it was fun but brief...totally bz running around to do stuff for jeff so if wan scold me then scold jeff lol. The Chihara Minori concert was awesome but the side that we are on were so passive!!! Like you are in a concert go wild already and they just sit there in their seat not doing anthing....sad. Was laughing at how pauline really didn't want anyone that didn't paid for the tickets see the q & a session and concert which the 6feet or 7 think high partitions blocking the people's view then closing the top sections of the hall only thing regretted during event is not taking pictures at all!!! not happy...zzz
The one thing that pissed me off is GACC man, they start rallying during the event saying "Go to GACC" like WTF, one thing is that i didn't believe that an old friend would actually betray us. Ahhh getting pissed remembering that but nvm we are civilised people so i won't do anything like them. Another thing pissed me off during the event is the Emina president like WTH and i was too blur to shout at the STFU and do it yourself. In the first day, he was passing our board game section and all saying "Why are commitees playing games" that alone got me mad but didn't do anything about it. Then there was the second incident with him, we just finished lunch and went back and right there he stopped us and ask which division are we in, told him it was boardgames and he asked what do we do,obviously play boardgames and he cont on saying you dont have to do that come and help security. I should have said Fuck You and get your own security members we are not under you. We are boardgame members so we play games for god's sake, we are not really under daicon, just colabarating with them which is GDC not EMINA!!! Plus it was a friend who asked us to do it so we just help so just shut up and go do it yourself and if you are not happy just tell us we are more than willing to pull punches than talking.
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Ahhhhhhh~~~~ 12:35 PM
Its been nearly forever since a new post came out!!!
Well I just want to change the posting directions...mostly its going to be what is on my mind and what i am particularly thinking about no more random stuffs not really creative to do something like that so the blog is going to be my personal time out just letting my feelings go. As if anyone reads it so i am just ranting on myself hehe..well one will come soon
Well I just want to change the posting directions...mostly its going to be what is on my mind and what i am particularly thinking about no more random stuffs not really creative to do something like that so the blog is going to be my personal time out just letting my feelings go. As if anyone reads it so i am just ranting on myself hehe..well one will come soon
Saturday, March 7, 2009
Finally a post!!
Have been bz with some stuff at campus and a tight schedule to move with, life is so much these day teasing people and so. Well that's what i normally do so what the heck. Let's not talk about the days I didn't write about and talk about today. Let's see, all started waking up late for a tourney that I am suppose to manage a bit. Saw some crazy ass Singaporians that was owning people in CS(Counter-Strike). Cool people to meet by the way, then after that went for dinner and shopping for groceries and man that was tiring. Packing up food to last me a few weeks with out eating outside is pretty hard. Especially when I eat a lot, spend like 60 buck which I think the food can last me for 2 weeks but in the long run I think I can save quite a sum as one meal here is at least 10bucks. Crazy shit!Oh ya I changed to theme for the bloggy, comment on it ^^
Have been bz with some stuff at campus and a tight schedule to move with, life is so much these day teasing people and so. Well that's what i normally do so what the heck. Let's not talk about the days I didn't write about and talk about today. Let's see, all started waking up late for a tourney that I am suppose to manage a bit. Saw some crazy ass Singaporians that was owning people in CS(Counter-Strike). Cool people to meet by the way, then after that went for dinner and shopping for groceries and man that was tiring. Packing up food to last me a few weeks with out eating outside is pretty hard. Especially when I eat a lot, spend like 60 buck which I think the food can last me for 2 weeks but in the long run I think I can save quite a sum as one meal here is at least 10bucks. Crazy shit!Oh ya I changed to theme for the bloggy, comment on it ^^Monday, January 12, 2009
The FFC 6:00 AM
FFC!!!!!!! It's here and it's coming to get me! So the thing now, what is the FFC? It only occurs when i get back home. It's a Family Food Crisis, a little thing that happens each time i come home. My mom will have a headache on what to cook, yea it's just complicated with everyone's taste, normally if I am not around, mom wouldn't cook much and they eat out a lot but when i do come home during the holidays she gets a dilemma. First off, my dad would want to eat curry food and indian stuff, my sis would be in the mood for italian and western food, and finally for me I prefer chinese food because of the desserted Cyberjaya where chinese food is no where to be found. So there it goes my mom having to cook something to please everyone and thus gets complaints when she cooks something ^^ lol but i still love her
Oh wait there is another thing, the fridge where it's always full...empty after 4 days I came back, wow i really eat a lot. That's why it's a food crisis...
Oh wait there is another thing, the fridge where it's always full...empty after 4 days I came back, wow i really eat a lot. That's why it's a food crisis...
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
A Sign? 8:49 PM
This is a fictional story and got nothing to do with anything..ermm
"Blah blah" is just like any other normal university student- apart from one major difference. A difference that will change his entire life. He as normal as he can be and never really normal when he's around girls. Seriously, he goes berserk in nervous breakdown when something happens in which involves a girl. Is he shy?
Ok, lets talk about the difference thingi, well it all started with a sms, a simple sms asking about something in which he turns it saying wrong number but the sender continued to message him and they started to know each other, enjoying it, he continues and ends up knowing the sender a long time ago from school and the sender's a girl! And that ended there just like that, now that they know each other they just became normal friends and thats all. But there is a fact that he actually still keeps the message for almost 4 years already in his phone, never forgeting her. Does he like her?
Later he also found out that their fathers know each other and go way back, knowing that he knows her since childhood but they never really spoke last time is now meeting up again. Is this a sign? Now comes the best part, she still remembers him and message him on her whereabouts, she is currently in Japan studying for the next 3 years. Ok,so she likes him too? He as normal and nervous he can be, told her to not disturb him as he is studying for finals. 'OUCH'
But for long, lonely seconds after the message has been sent, Blah blah stares motionless, silently cloaked in his own somber thoughts.
So thats all about this thing, got any comment or suggestion for this guy? Post it in the comment section hehehehe
"Blah blah" is just like any other normal university student- apart from one major difference. A difference that will change his entire life. He as normal as he can be and never really normal when he's around girls. Seriously, he goes berserk in nervous breakdown when something happens in which involves a girl. Is he shy?
Ok, lets talk about the difference thingi, well it all started with a sms, a simple sms asking about something in which he turns it saying wrong number but the sender continued to message him and they started to know each other, enjoying it, he continues and ends up knowing the sender a long time ago from school and the sender's a girl! And that ended there just like that, now that they know each other they just became normal friends and thats all. But there is a fact that he actually still keeps the message for almost 4 years already in his phone, never forgeting her. Does he like her?
Later he also found out that their fathers know each other and go way back, knowing that he knows her since childhood but they never really spoke last time is now meeting up again. Is this a sign? Now comes the best part, she still remembers him and message him on her whereabouts, she is currently in Japan studying for the next 3 years. Ok,so she likes him too? He as normal and nervous he can be, told her to not disturb him as he is studying for finals. 'OUCH'
But for long, lonely seconds after the message has been sent, Blah blah stares motionless, silently cloaked in his own somber thoughts.
So thats all about this thing, got any comment or suggestion for this guy? Post it in the comment section hehehehe
Monday, January 5, 2009
The Miracle of McD 8:43 AM
This is one heck of a thing, today as in 12hours ago before it hit 12am, my friends and I went to McD to eat lunch and so we were busy talking and laughing at wow(World of Warcraft in case you don't know) then suddenly there's a family which came in and sat down beside our table and they had a baby. The baby starts crying like a crazy nut as if someone whack it or something, in case you guys are sensitive or me using it, i am using it because i can't determine the gender, anyway cont... So the mom went and buy food leaving the baby to cry in the hand of its brother and sister, so we just cont talking until the mom comes back with food and gave the baby a french fries and it shuts up and eats. We were shocked on what happened as a single french fries could shut it up, it could be because the mom knows wat it wants but still we think it as The Miracle of McD!!!
